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In his own words[]
Agent Smith: Wapping, advertised by those who know it best (and should know better)
Found my first ever forum post on Bravenet. Kinda says why I joined.
MY first RAOK
Name: Joinee Smith
Date Posted: Jul 16, 03 - 1:00 PM
Message: Seems to be a lot of talk about where the leader has gone (he's buried under 10 sacks of mail), jordans boobs, who you fancy, who fancies jordans boobs and not jordan herself etc etc.
So, to get back to basics, here's an account of my first RAOK, done after a friend of mine mentioned what Danny was doing in passing and before I read the excellent book (which you can now get at a discount at WHSmith, joinies).
Me and my mate were out at a comedy night at Lee Hurst's Backyard comedy club in Bethnal Green. We were a bit the worse for wear (3 bottles of white and 1 red between us). We were sat in the front row, and after bottle 3, I decided to go on the offensive during an Australian act, given the comics had ripped the p*** out of everyone else sat in the front row. After the bouncer told me to leave or be quiet, (I thought I was quite witty given the amount of alcohol I had consumed), we left to move onto bigger and better things.
All a bit blurry after that. My mate arrived home at 8am in the morning after kipping in the living room of some Irish lass. And he had the wallet of a complete stranger (not him!). He thinks he found it on the street in Bethnal Green, but is not too sure. Anyway, he kept remembering about this wallet all weekend, when we were out at Church or some other alcohol laden venue, so I finally got round to looking at it on Monday morning.
Now, I once had a wallet stolen in Tenerife 4 hours after landing (is that a record?), and know what a pain in the arse it is.
In inconvenience it goes like this:-
1) Having money stolen - Incovenience factor 1 2) Cancelling and replacing your credit cards - Inconvenience factor 5 - try doing this from Tenerife at 3am in the morning 3) Losing 10-20 id cards, club cards, driving licence etc - Inconvenience factor 20
So if you ever find a wallet, and are not sure if you're drunken friend mugged someone to get it, return the wallet anyway. The loosee will be so grateful, and what mugger would return a wallet to the victim, anyway?)
Oh, and keep your own phone number in the wallet as well as your friends. It's very strange phoning round their mates mobiles and asking if they know Michael. Who are you? Oh, I'm a good friend of his wallet.
On the did he or didn't he front, Micahel had his wallet stolen at a gig in Leicester Square, which Campbell assures me, he was no where near during the evening...
In appreciation, Michael sent me a pewter hip flask from the House of Commons. Any suggestions who I should give this to at my second RAOK?
Anyway, that's about it. Would like to see more stories like the above on the forum. Keep up the good work, joinees.